such a different life

The other morning I got to spend some time with my new Ayah, Suma.  She is darling,  full of giggles, grins and hugs.  She constantly is humming or singing, and she loves to dance and clap with Jax.  He loves it!  So while in the kitchen,  she was doing dishes and i was making granola, we talked about her life.  I asked about her daugther,  the only child,  and how she met her husband and how she is a grandmother as such a young age.  Her story is so sad, yet so much joy radiates from her, you would never know.


She is the youngest child of seven, and her Dad's sister only had one son.  Her Dad married her off to him.  Yes, that's right, her first cousin.  She was eleven.  So sad.  She hadn't even hit puberty yet,  that would come two years into her marriage.  She only had one period, and then she was pregnant, at 13.  Her young small body,  she's about 4'10" or so, couldn't deliver that baby easily.  She labored for three days, and the baby was born with lots of damage to Suma with no anesthetic but at this point she was so exhausted she was delirious.  She fell unconscious with the large amounts of blood she lost.  Her mother told her later,  the baby had not cried at birth, also too exhausted from delivery.  What a horrific thing to endure at 13.  She had to feed the baby cows milk, because she hadn't any breast yet, to feed a baby.  


She didn't complain,  it was just the way it was.  She survived and so did her baby.  Her daughter is now grown and married, with a daughter of her own.  She was married at a reasonable age.  She tells me her husband is a kind man, but I have my doubts.  Her sister's husband is NOT a kind man, and tells me either is Suma's husband.  They are lovely ladies and the life they have to endure makes me sad.  I am thankful they are happy and have good employment with our family.


It is illegal in Bangladesh to be married before the age of 18 but I guess when you live in a village,  and live in a corrupt country, people do what they have to, in order to survive.  I was wondering why there were so many people here with birth defects,  missing limbs, club feet, twisted torsos,  but then again, first cousins who marry, are common place here.  Maybe they should try and make that illegal here too.  So sad,  Dhaka is a place that has great potential, but I don't think much has changed here in many many generations.

To Market to Market...

My friend, D and I went to New Market today.  It is a large market in Dhaka, and when I say large,  I mean LARGE.  I think we only hit a corner of it, and we spent easily 3-4 hours there.  First stop was the pet shops.  Oh my pet shops!  cages and cages of birds, bunnies, kittens, and puppies, and tanks and tanks of fish, turtles and snails.  And to all who are reading this, who know me well.... you'd be so proud!  I didn't buy anything.  Not even really tempted.  They even had my favorite birds (gouldian finches).  They did have a Mynah bird, and that would have been the one thing my husband would have let me get, but I didn't.  


Then to the regular market.  It was early and quiet at first. We browsed through china, pashmina scarves, kitchen gadgets, shalwar kameezes, saris, sporting goods, jewelery, shoes, and whatever you could think of.  It was awesome.  As we strolled,  and tried to ignore the Madam, Madam calling,  we did fine some treasures.  I am sure we got taken for a ride, and paid too much for things but D, drove a hard bargin, and bartered with the best of them.  3 pashminas for 1200 taka,  or 5$ each, seemed good at the time, until later we found out that was about double what we could have paid.  I paid 5 times the local price for a tea strainer.  Oh well, it was only a dollar.

It was a great day.  We had a local shopkeeper take us around and help us bargin,  and saved us much taka.  He spent hours with us, and was so kind.  We wanted to pay him, but he was happy just to practise his english with us.  Bangladeshis are really very sweet people.